im better when im drunk

im better when im drunk and im amazing when your wasted. the stories of our lives keep intertwining for some reason and the roads keep bringing you to me. fuck a love story this is an anti love story. it is the how to book for a bad relationship. destructive decietful and infamous. we need to make a concious effort to pull away and stay away. but hell who are we kidding.. we dont see each other for 10 years - you put us in a room together and someones walking out of there pregnant. when i wake up with arms wrapped tight around me i feel loved but thats not exactly what it is, is it? i could come to you for anything and i know youd listen with out caring, be there with out doing anything about it. its a screaming match that ends with our bodies caught up in the madness of what was once was. its a screaming match that ill never win. i cant because you dont care enough about the winner thus making me the obvious loser because i do. i just dont know how to. and now on top of everything ive become 'that girl'. the girl you call late night to whisper sweet lies in my ear and disgustingly honest truths declared out loud. "my girlfriend doesnt matter" or "me and her, were not together for real" lies i want to believe i just dont. "this is a bad idea" or "i really do love her" truths i just cant seem to let go of. but like i said im better when im drunk when i dont seem to mind about her and im amazing when your wasted because you could care less. does she even know what she has just signed up for? i think not. a road well known by me and walked several times. how long will this one last? our track records are dwindling but we dont seem to mind making our way back to that familar street once again. but just for one night not to be seen again for days, weeks, or months. but trust in this darling it will be seen again, eventually. but this time babe ill do all that i can to steer clear of that street that know our footprints all too well. ill steer clear of the road signs that bring me to it. ill steer clear of you. period. its one bad decision after another after another and i dont think i can handle anymore. so im keeping my hands out of the pot from now on. keeping my nose clean of all of the things that draw me to you. its fighting an uphill battle.. its playing a losing game. its all the things i promised i never would do again and there i am waking up in the bed i promised id never see again and would learn to forget. i hate everything you are. i hate everything you've become. i hate your face. i hate your swagger. i hate everything about you and i love it just the same. torn is exactly what i am and the fact that you tear me pulls me in more than id ever allow any one else to do. its only you. and youve made it your full time job. from now on ill be better when im drunk and ill be amazing at ignoring your calls when your wasted.... you can bet on it.

"boy youve got problem and you aint foolin no one but yourself your like a hot revolver but you aint killn no one but yourself"