i think about you a lot lately. i think about what could have been or why on the fateful night we reconnected. i wonder why i didn’t slap your face or spit in it after the hurt and pain you caused. why i didn’t just keep walking past your lovely face. why i even tried to run into you. or why i answered the phone call that has now lead to all of this thinking.
you betrayed my trust, betrayed my love. destroyed everything i thought i believed in. so i walked. i deleted you from my phone, my laptop, but first and foremost my life. i avoided places you were and stopped seeing friends who were seeing you. you were dead to me. did not exist anymore. a ghost of an old nightmare i fell asleep to at night. a shadowy figure who lurked in a not so long ago past. all the less you were gone.
here and there you’d make an appearance in my dreams or my thoughts but id erase you faster then i could say your name. and than that fateful night the first of the year and there you were. not a ghost, no shadowy figure, you were there flesh and blood in front of me smiling back at me. and with all the thoughts i had of doing harm towards you or the mean things id scream in your face when put in this situation were suddenly gone and only a silly smile lay plastered to my face. its funny how things we have planned out so perfectly seem to fade when the chance actually arises.
so there we stood face to face smiling like children, and then you kissed me. but the timing wasnt right. it had been right 8 months ago. the timing was right the kissing was perfect, but there was her and i stood no chance against her tactics. but that kiss on the first of the year, the mulitple ones we shared. they made me miss what we once were. but my flavor of the month showed up and made you quite awkward, which was cute because normally you act so tough. but i could see it in your face you did not like this man i was going to be bedding tonight after i had just shared that passionate moment seconds before.
did this mean that you then had to rub in my face what you had with this she devil you left me for. because the following night, before we had even decided to be friends, only after a couple of drunken kisses, it was me you came to confide in. “she broke my heart”, “me and her are the romeo and juliet story”, “we want to be with each other but its just impossible”. I get the pain your going through, more than you probably know. you caused that pain on me. you left me hurt and destroyed for another girl and karma is a bitch and this whole thing proved it, she in turn left you for another former love. what comes around goes around and you got what was coming to you. an eye for an eye… a heartbreak for a heartbreak. i do not i repeat i do not in anyway feel sorry for you.
and so i told you last night. well see what happens. i shouldn’t even be dealing with you. i should have kept you a ghost of a now remembered past. kept that shadowy figure in the shallow grave i had buried you in. but your back now and with a vengeance. well shall see what happens. only time will tell but if you continue to play the feel sorry for me card, that grave will soon have residence again.
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