Hey, dont read this..

there was once a boy who came into my life so undetected but left like a tornado that took no vengence for anything that was in its path. but the only thing in his path was me, unsuspecting and way too niiave. But he took my innocence and crushed it like the eggshells i tip toed on to get to him. he took every word i spoke and twisted it. took every truth i had and bent it. any words i spoke were taken in by him chewed up and spit back in my face but with malice that they never initionally had. he took everything in me and delivered me to severence.

but he taught me things in our short time, he showed me tons. he showed me that you always have to look out for number one, and it was every man for himself. its dog eat dog, and i am nothing but a bitch. his minipulation was worthy of a pulitzer.

you played me. you may not see it through your eyes, but thats the only way i can see it. sat there and played both sides of the fence. shaped words to sound exactly as i wanted or needed them too. a master crafter saying exactly what i wanted without even saying a word at all. i was easy prey, i was a slow moving target. and i guess for your big change of life, i was the perfect first victim. i was someone who cared too much, i cared enough to both of us and therefore i fit perfectly into your plan.. you didnt have to care at all. no feelings, no emotions, no anything in return. but thats not the real you and i know that. but i stood there with that apple on my head, hoping youd hit it after missing every time before.

I should have taken notes and taken notice and taken you for what you were worth. Just a boy who needed a girl to need him. With mascara stained cheeks I fell to my knees begging you to not need me. you had taken everything and that I had. i even had a white blood cell count to prove it. But it was too late, the vampire in you had already consumed me, and I was changed.

youve been an extremely bad boy, youve been careless with a delicate girl. and its a sad day when you will break a girl just because you can. i dont know how much time has passed, but i know it feel like forever. it was only just a dream after all wasnt it? an experiment on your part. well i guess it was on both parts. you just got the conclusion you were looking for and i got tears. i got two broken friendships, days of laying in a dark room, and an ending i did not expect but should of seen coming a mile away. i mean that is the reason i didnt agree to this in the first place.

but you got me, had me, hypnotized me. got in my head and invaded like a disease. its my fault really, not yours; you warned me. but i never warned you… i fall hard. and i did. i fall fast. and i did. i have a million emotions that i just cant silience. so i paid the price and ill keep paying. doll, im still mad as hell. but, i climb slowly and eventually ill be back on top, i need to stop living my life like the next day will never come..

A shallow grave isnt too hard to redig

i think about you a lot lately. i think about what could have been or why on the fateful night we reconnected. i wonder why i didn’t slap your face or spit in it after the hurt and pain you caused. why i didn’t just keep walking past your lovely face. why i even tried to run into you. or why i answered the phone call that has now lead to all of this thinking.

you betrayed my trust, betrayed my love. destroyed everything i thought i believed in. so i walked. i deleted you from my phone, my laptop, but first and foremost my life. i avoided places you were and stopped seeing friends who were seeing you. you were dead to me. did not exist anymore. a ghost of an old nightmare i fell asleep to at night. a shadowy figure who lurked in a not so long ago past. all the less you were gone.

here and there you’d make an appearance in my dreams or my thoughts but id erase you faster then i could say your name. and than that fateful night the first of the year and there you were. not a ghost, no shadowy figure, you were there flesh and blood in front of me smiling back at me. and with all the thoughts i had of doing harm towards you or the mean things id scream in your face when put in this situation were suddenly gone and only a silly smile lay plastered to my face. its funny how things we have planned out so perfectly seem to fade when the chance actually arises.

so there we stood face to face smiling like children, and then you kissed me. but the timing wasnt right. it had been right 8 months ago. the timing was right the kissing was perfect, but there was her and i stood no chance against her tactics. but that kiss on the first of the year, the mulitple ones we shared. they made me miss what we once were. but my flavor of the month showed up and made you quite awkward, which was cute because normally you act so tough. but i could see it in your face you did not like this man i was going to be bedding tonight after i had just shared that passionate moment seconds before.

did this mean that you then had to rub in my face what you had with this she devil you left me for. because the following night, before we had even decided to be friends, only after a couple of drunken kisses, it was me you came to confide in. “she broke my heart”, “me and her are the romeo and juliet story”, “we want to be with each other but its just impossible”. I get the pain your going through, more than you probably know. you caused that pain on me. you left me hurt and destroyed for another girl and karma is a bitch and this whole thing proved it, she in turn left you for another former love. what comes around goes around and you got what was coming to you. an eye for an eye… a heartbreak for a heartbreak. i do not i repeat i do not in anyway feel sorry for you.

and so i told you last night. well see what happens. i shouldn’t even be dealing with you. i should have kept you a ghost of a now remembered past. kept that shadowy figure in the shallow grave i had buried you in. but your back now and with a vengeance. well shall see what happens. only time will tell but if you continue to play the feel sorry for me card, that grave will soon have residence again.