is it really settling?

A man sat down in my chair one day and within the time span it took me to finish his hair cut, i had heard his life story. Or maybe i should say what he thought was the most important part of his life story. it was a love story but it did not end well, at least for him. He was South American, i do not remember the exact country, and the woman he loved was as well. She danced for the ballet company in this country just as an extra when they had met. They loved each other, a love they had never known before and at least in his case, after, either.

They spent several years together, just loving one another and loving love. but as they grew, as couples often do they grew apart. this was mostly due to her traveling a lot with the ballet company. the more she travelled; the further they grew apart, until finally there was no more of their 'us'. As the years carried on, so did the women in his life. he was married twice, both ending in divorce and there were many lovers here and there and in between.

nearing the end of his hair cut he turned to me and grabbed my arm. with a seriousness in his voice and a sternness in his eyes, i could see he meant what he was about to say. he told me that men get one love. only one great love in their lives. no more, no less. because women are emotional creatures, they fall under loves spell easier. but for men this is not the case. they get one love he reminded me, "don't let yours pass you by", as he walked out of the door. I'll never forget this man, i will never forget his words. i will never forget his warning.

but what if he was wrong. what if women as well only get one true great love. and what happens if we don't know this one true love is that one until after he has passed and the door at loves chance is closed? The man had a point, i know that i can and will love again, but like that? can that happen? can i exist for a man the way i did for you? your every mood was my mood. if you flew i was already flying.

but things this good don't last. and just like the old mans tales of woe, we too grew apart. but i believe in fate, i believe the things that happened and the things that were said were all supposed to. a predetermined destiny. you needed less from me and i needed way more than you could give at the time. I was moody, irrational, emotional, and a little crazy. you were too straight forward, fast, undefined, and limitless. i hated everything about you and yet i loved you more deeply than i loved myself.

but the years have caught up with us now. you've slowed, I've grown; you've found boundaries, I've calmed my nerves; we've changed for the better, both of us. and we find each other at this intersection. a cross roads, where do we go from here?

I 'm scared of settling. I'm scared that if we do end up where we started that i would just be settling. That i wouldn't be reaching my loves true potential. But just as that man had given me some advice on a life full or not full of love, a wise woman once told me..

"We must build a bridge between our dreams and who

we are. That's why most people never find love, because

our dreams get in the way. Love is about acceptance.

It's about settling. Settling is the greatest triumph.

It's easy to love a great man, if you can even find one

and if he loves you back, but real love for real people

that means loving despite...."

So maybe I wouldn't be settling.. maybe I;m being triumphant of love.