the story has gotten old, the words are so stale that i can taste them on my tongue. it hasn’t changed in years, yet people are still asking details. well I’m about to throw them all for one hell of a loop. the stories they were used to hearing, the same old, its suddenly changing and at rapid pace. i have written and spoke for years about you, who, i just couldn’t get away from. but the tides are changing. i don’t think you’re ready to be let go of and me, well im scampering to get away. now there’s someone else..
Ive learned somethings over the past decade darling. Ive grown and become quite an intelligent woman. at some point i realized that i have done too much for you, that the only next possible step is to stop. i need to leave you alone doll. I’m walking away. I’m not giving up and don’t say i didn’t try. Ive just finally drawn the line between determination and desperation. what is truly mine will eventually be mine and what is not, no matter how hard i try will never be.
I will never find the right person, if i cant let go of the wrong one. so this story is a new one. nothing like ive ever encountered before. i have to physically stop myself from uttering his name in every sentence that leaves my lips. they say a mans biggest mistake is giving another man an opportunity to make his woman smile. you’ve done that my dear. and I have tears in my eyes from the laughter hes caused.
but this too shall not be a love story because i am tragic and I’m sure somehow this will all blow up before its even started. but at least now Ive realized i finally deserve better than Ive been receiving. hes my friend, hes my lover, and he actually thinks about how things may affect me before he even realizes its what he wants to do. im sure ill screw it up somehow. but lets face facts I’m infamous for this. but at least hes not you and that in itself is a big deal. hes not gorgeous, hes not super human. but hes not you. he treats me the way a woman of my stature should be treated.
the games have begun between me and him. but I’m looking forward to strategic moves with someone new at the other end of the gad damn table. the chess game of love has gone on too long between us and its time for me to scream check mate. so I’m surrendering, waving my white flag. but Ive been everywhere looking for a new opponent. and Ive found one.
so let the games begin…
