it all ends up repeating itself. it all comes full circle. it always comes back to you. every road ive traveled every path ive taken its always lead back to you. i cant seem to break away. i cant tell if its a good or a bad thing. i cant make out with fate is trying to tell me. i cant see how this ends up. were not supposed to be together. we dont play well together but were terrible apart. you told me a long time ago we would eventually end up together but i drive you crazy and you drive me away. maybe when you whispered all those words and promises, you werent lying. maybe we are supposed to be together. i dont ever see it working out the way i hope for. the way a mature relationship is supposed to be. the way i know were meant to. its all so back and forth. its all just so confusing. your three thousand miles away and i cant seem to get you out of my head.
i want something new. something different. i need to break away. this isn't healthy. i cant keep doing this to myself. i want everything. but i know that i will never get what i want from someone new with you in the back ground. and you wont disappear. just when i think you've gone and left me, you pop back up. come into the picture when you'd been out of the frame for so long. just when i don't need you i need you more than you know. don’t you understand? i want that cant eat, cant sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence world series kind of love. and with you i wont ever have it so why do i still keep coming back for more. why do i subject myself to this kind of pain. why is it so hard to rid myself of you?
and then i realized, the hard is what makes it great. that's it plain and simple. if it was easy there wouldn't be any point. nothing to gain, no pleasure, no reward. im chasing the dragon but its always just out of reach. chasing the feelings you only grant me with ever so seldom. you know how to manipulate the situation to keep me coming back. you keep it hard so I'm begging for more. for your approval. for your touch. for you.
i cant do this anymore, but i know i will.
